Monday, April 5, 2010
Yeah, AssHat. I DO shop at Costco.
I don't know about you, but when I get home from traveling, I like to have my own suitcase of dirty clothes, not someone's from Iowa. Nothing against people from Iowa, but apparently, at least some of them can't read those big-ass signs above the luggage carousels, the ones that say 'Many bags look alike. Please make sure you have YOUR bag.' But wait. It gets better.
Shortly after DD has a mini breakdown because somebody has taken MY bag, we find the switcheroo bag which conveniently has a cell phone number and address. (Word to your mother. If you put ALL your personal information on your bag tag, it makes it easier for sane and crazy people alike to find you. Guess which one I am?)
By this time, we are at the absolute end of the customs line. No problem, since this gives us plenty of time to call the cell phone number from the switcheroo bag owner, who just happens to be standing right next to DH when he calls her. No kidding. Now, I'm not all that familiar with Iowan idioms, so maybe they have different ways of saying Thank You. Here's a couple we heard when we informed them that they had my bag instead of their own. "Mom, I told you that isn't your bag!" And my favorite, "Ha ha ha, I guess they shop at Costco too!" Really. Maybe the severe rise in my blood pressure made me go temporarily deaf and I didn't hear the woman say, "Oh my gosh! I'm really sorry I didn't check the bag tag, and I'm so glad YOU did. Thank you so much for taking the time to find me and saving me the trouble of having to put your bag on a plane to Denver, after I got home and found YOUR thong underwear instead of my parachute pants!" I never said I wasn't a bitch. I did, however neglect to say, "You're welcome." Here's the way I say it in Colorado: "I hope that smell emanating from your crotch isn't anything serious. Have a nice day!"
Thanks to Bernard and my own pillow, my neck and upper back are feeling much better. I can also still fit into my clothes, so I'm pretty sure I managed not to gain any weight while on the cruise. Gotta call this one good, trip-wise.
While on the ship I did do some knitting. I finished a cotton pullover and made good progress on a pair of socks, but I haven't taken any photos of those yet. I didn't knit as much as I planned, but did finish a book. Here's a few pictures from Key West. More from the rest of the trip to follow.