It's hard to find words sometimes. Last night, about half an hour from where I live, 12 people were murdered. More will probably die from their injuries. The only thing they did was go to a movie and now they're gone.
I was in shock the first few minutes after I heard the news. We've had so many tragedies lately here in Colorado and the numbness hardly wears off before something else happens. It's too much to bear. You have to find a way to stop thinking about it, at least for a little while. But really, it's impossible to forget when the onslaught feels ceaseless and senseless. You don't know what to think anymore.
But I know one thing for sure. I never want to be one of those people who can just shrug it off and go on about their lives and say, "Meh, why should I feel bad about it? I didn't do it and neither did anyone else I know. Pass me the Cheez Whiz."
Right now I feel hopeless and helpless and disgusted, but I'll take that over feeling nothing at all. When we stop feeling, we stop being human. Then, we stop trying to find ways to make this kind of thing never happen again. Maybe that's just me pissing in the ocean but it's all I've got.
I have work piling up, a dog to get to the vet, and carpet that hasn't been vacuumed in so long, stuff is starting to grow in it. But tonight, I'll wind some yarn and cast on something and make a few cocktails, and try not to make sense of any of it while I feel my grief for those families.
Do something you love today. And send some good thoughts to Colorado. We can use them.