Friday, March 5, 2010

Why I knit

This list isn't complete by any means. I could add more, but somebody didn't toss out their leftover breakfast, so the cat did. It would be TMI to tell you how the cat accomplished this, but if you own a cat, you already know what I mean. I may add to this list after I clean the carpet.

1. I knit so I don't strangle people who leave their breakfast for the cat to finish. You know who you are.

2. Knitting makes a glass of wine last longer, thus keeping you from drinking too much. It also saves money for more yarn, and more wine, which you will need after you clean up after the cat.

3. It makes it harder to eat cheeseburgers, which I have no business eating but had for lunch yesterday anyway. Bite me, Cholesterol Police. I got the results from my annual physical and blood test yesterday and it's all good. Sort of.

4. A yarn stash is better than say, a drug stash. I have no personal knowledge of this, but I live in Colorado, where we have more marijuana dispensaries than coffee shops, and some pretty rockin' yarn shops, so I'm certain this is true. Yarn is my drug of choice.

5. It gives you something to do when your plane is pushed back from the gate and you sit on the runway for hours, with no food or beverage. A knitter, however, will not only have yarn in his/her project bag, but also snacks and a couple of those tiny bottles of vodka they sell at liquor stores, right next to the checkout stand. I have no personal knowledge of this either. Really.

6. It is a safe activity, unless you do this.

7. You can knit stuff that looks like a codpiece, but it's not. I don't make this stuff up, but I know where to find it.

Brace yourselves. There's more to come.


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