Monday, April 5, 2010

Yeah, AssHat. I DO shop at Costco.

I don't know about you, but when I get home from traveling, I like to have my own suitcase of dirty clothes, not someone's from Iowa. Nothing against people from Iowa, but apparently, at least some of them can't read those big-ass signs above the luggage carousels, the ones that say 'Many bags look alike. Please make sure you have YOUR bag.' But wait. It gets better.

Shortly after DD has a mini breakdown because somebody has taken MY bag, we find the switcheroo bag which conveniently has a cell phone number and address. (Word to your mother. If you put ALL your personal information on your bag tag, it makes it easier for sane and crazy people alike to find you. Guess which one I am?)

By this time, we are at the absolute end of the customs line. No problem, since this gives us plenty of time to call the cell phone number from the switcheroo bag owner, who just happens to be standing right next to DH when he calls her. No kidding. Now, I'm not all that familiar with Iowan idioms, so maybe they have different ways of saying Thank You. Here's a couple we heard when we informed them that they had my bag instead of their own. "Mom, I told you that isn't your bag!" And my favorite, "Ha ha ha, I guess they shop at Costco too!" Really. Maybe the severe rise in my blood pressure made me go temporarily deaf and I didn't hear the woman say, "Oh my gosh! I'm really sorry I didn't check the bag tag, and I'm so glad YOU did. Thank you so much for taking the time to find me and saving me the trouble of having to put your bag on a plane to Denver, after I got home and found YOUR thong underwear instead of my parachute pants!" I never said I wasn't a bitch. I did, however neglect to say, "You're welcome." Here's the way I say it in Colorado: "I hope that smell emanating from your crotch isn't anything serious. Have a nice day!"

Thanks to Bernard and my own pillow, my neck and upper back are feeling much better. I can also still fit into my clothes, so I'm pretty sure I managed not to gain any weight while on the cruise. Gotta call this one good, trip-wise.

While on the ship I did do some knitting. I finished a cotton pullover and made good progress on a pair of socks, but I haven't taken any photos of those yet. I didn't knit as much as I planned, but did finish a book. Here's a few pictures from Key West. More from the rest of the trip to follow.


  1. Which is why I mainly travel with an old, burgundy, leather duffel bag that has been in my family since, oh, the 1980s.

    Standing right next to you in line, too funny.

    Glad you're home safe.

  2. omg, it must be nice to be able have such a nonchalant attitude with regard to personal property. I would have been having an absolute conniption--- good job on maintaining your calm.

    Sounds like a wonderful vacation, though! Looking forward to seeing your knit FO's ;)

  3. Okay, it is totally not a funny incident. But the way you shared what exactly you were thinking, I couldn't help but smile!!! I love you :)

    So glad you had a great trip and have your own thong panties to wash...hehehe


A few people seem to be having problems leaving comments. I have no clue why--Blogger doesn't make it easy to figure these things out. If you are having issues, you can always email me. Thanks for commenting, or trying to...