If you're an AT&T cell phone customer, by now you've heard about their clever plan to do away with the all-you-can-eat data plans and go a la carte when 4G comes out. I'll be forced to get this non-consensual upgrade enema when I eventually get a new phone. That won't be for a while, since I'll probably be going to prison in the near future. AT&T doesn't seem to take too kindly to complaints, so they sure as heck aren't going to be very happy with me.
I read this article about another person who's less than enamored with once again having to bend over and take it from the Nurse Ratcheds of cell phone companies, and being the bandwagon jumper that I am, I sent my own email to Randall Stephenson, the CEO of AT&T:
Subject: Kindly requesting my personal cease and desist letter
From: (jellidonut@me.com)
Date: June 3, 2010 9:38:27 AM MDT
To: xxxxxxx.xxxxxxxxxx@att.com
Dear Mr. Stephenson:
As a long-time loyal AT&T customer (read: I have an iPhone and have no choice in carriers), I am requesting my own personal cease and desist letter. This is in conjunction with your impending rate increase that I will surely incur when I eventually upgrade my phone to 4G.
Since I will be victimized by your heinous price gouging of those who wish to take advantage of updated technology, I feel I should at least get some sort of perk.
Sincerely,
(JelliDonut)
Lakewood, Colorado
P.S. Please make the letter suitable for framing.
As a long-time loyal AT&T customer (read: I have an iPhone and have no choice in carriers), I am requesting my own personal cease and desist letter. This is in conjunction with your impending rate increase that I will surely incur when I eventually upgrade my phone to 4G.
Since I will be victimized by your heinous price gouging of those who wish to take advantage of updated technology, I feel I should at least get some sort of perk.
Sincerely,
(JelliDonut)
Lakewood, Colorado
P.S. Please make the letter suitable for framing.
I've removed Stephenson's email address from this post, but seriously, if you can't find it on your own, you probably can't use a cell phone either, so this would be of zero interest to you.
I wonder if they let you have circular needles in The Big House.
You are killing me! I know that I shouldn't, but I am LMAO!!! Tell him to stick it where the sun won't shine!!!! I want the new phone, but not the bending-over-and-you-know-whatting-it! Listen, remember KARMA. No one escapes it.
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW, I always remind myself that they won't allow circular OR straight needles at Danbury Correctional.