Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Get out your pencils. It's time for a parent pop quiz.

Question 1: Your child has spent most of Sunday playing XBox. At approximately 9 p.m. this child, upon deciding to do homework that is due Monday, discovers her computer is dying. Do you:

A: Decide to confuse her with facts by pointing out that you know she spent the better part of the day screwing around rather than doing her homework as she claims, and ask if she has backups of her files.
B: Hope the neighbors can't hear it when she starts bawling and shouting that since she can't finish her homework, she will never get into a decent college, therefore her life is over and SHE MIGHT AS WELL END IT ALL NOW, even though she has a 4+ (weighted) GPA.
C: Flip a coin with your spouse--the winner gets to run away from home, loser has to stay with the hysterical child.
D: All of the above


Question 2: After getting a crappy night's sleep, all you want is to spend some quiet time with yarn and coffee. Instead you:

A: Take your child's dying computer to the Apple genius bar, so that a 19 year old 'genius' can tell you what you already know.
B: Buy a new computer six months earlier than you'd planned.
C: Buy cupcakes with enough frosting to make a dog barf.
D: All of the above


Question 3: After returning home from the Apple store, broke but with cupcakes and a new computer, do you:

A:  Spend the remainder of the day transferring data from a dying computer to a brand new one that is faster and better than your own, not feeling bitter at all, because hey, as a parent you're used to getting hind tit, and it's O.K., really it is, because you can knit and catch up on your lost sleep some other year.
B: Daydream about grabbing the cupcakes and running away with a hot cabana boy.
C: Wonder how much money you would make doing technical support at the Apple genius bar instead of doing it for nothing at home, because nobody else can ever bother to read the damn manuals, or back up their data, even though you've told them to a thousand times.
D: All of the above


Keep studying. You never know when there will be another test. Extra credit if you figured out the cupcakes came from here instead of the Apple store.

9 comments:

  1. You'll be glad when you're old and she doesn't (or does) send you to "the home". I've still got to teach Liza that trick and hope she lives long enough.

    I'll teach her to make cupcakes first.

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  2. I don't envy you the computer problems. But, oh man!!!! The cupcakes!

    Sooooooooooo---what flavor did you buy?

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  3. I already passed this test and the child lived!
    Hang in there. Great cupcakes!!

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  4. The answer to everything is cupcake. Right?

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  5. Oh, my. That sounds like it could have happened at our house. Luckily we have the dad tech guy built in. He can fix anything! Loved reading your quiz!

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  6. Oh my gosh! You sound like an awesome mom!!

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  7. Yet another reason we haven't spawned. Well not really but when I read stuff like this is makes me happy we only have a cat.

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  8. Love your quiz & I think you handled it well. It caused a few flashbacks, like the time when a certain spouse crashed his hard drive without a backup -- y'know, the computer that contains a decade worth of photos plus our entire financial history. I can't remember whether I went for cupcakes or margaritas, come to think of it. (and as for answer #3A, Amen Sister.)

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Let it all hang out. I usually respond, but if you're in the witness protection program and your email address is a secret, maybe check back here to see if I left a snappy comeback.