Bad as all this is, it's not the worst part. Oh no. The worst part is the fireworks ban. I am not kidding, y'all. NO FIREWORKS ALLOWED. Not even by professionals. As of today, June 28, in Denver County, there will be no fireworks displays of any kind allowed this year. Ergo, we are skipping the fourth day of July entirely. One day it will be July 3rd, then the next day we go right to July 5th. Watch the video clip if you need proof. "If there's no fireworks, there's no 4th of July! It's just not faiiiiiiiiiiir! These people are professionals. They can take care of any problems that might come up." You know--just like the Titanic. (Fun fact: The Unsinkable Molly Brown's summer house is a few blocks from where I live.) Skip to about minute one of the video and go right to the part that would make Darwin want to smack somebody.
Stay safe everybody.
* Charles Darwin. Image taken from the Shimer.edu website