Monday, August 9, 2010

Some things you just don't see coming

It's like a freight train barreling down the tracks straight at me. I'm on the tracks, going through my day-to-day routine, when all of a sudden I hear the train whistle screaming at me and I'm thinking, CRAP! When did this happen? Why didn't anybody warn me?

DD is taking her drivers test this afternoon. She's (mostly) a responsible kid. Gets good grades, has never been in jail, showers daily--the stuff you hope your kids aspire to. But this driving thing. Shit! I am NOT ready for this. How did it sneak up on me so quickly? Five minutes ago she was a toddler, picking her nose and refusing to eat anything but chicken fingers and Kraft mac and cheese. She has since broadened her culinary horizons and the nose thing is pretty much under control. But driving? Seriously? I'm not taking this well, and I don't have the appropriate pharmaceuticals to handle the situation.

If she passes the test, I'll spend the rest of my life worrying every time she gets behind the wheel. If she doesn't pass, the resulting drama and trauma will make 90210 look like Sesame Street. (I have no idea where she gets her penchant for the dramatic, by the way.) Whatever happens, I'm screwed. And my last baby is on her way to adulthood.

I've made progress on Tilly's sweater:

I'm going to the fabric store today to pick out the most girly-girly buttons I can find. This color way has a lot of pink in it, but I want this sweater to scream GIRL CHILD! Yes, this is foolish, considering the fact that when DD was little, I talked trash about Barbie so badly I'm surprised she didn't sashay her big fake plastic boobs into her Barbie motor home and ram my skull in my sleep. But you do things differently with grandchildren. They call it Learning From Your Mistakes. Let's hope I do.


  1. I don't know how they do it but kids grow up so fast! and it is scary to think of them driving no matter how good they are. We want to protect them. I remember clutching the armrest so hard I thought I'd leave huge dents! And the first time we came to Austin when our oldest was in college and she took me on I35?!! I just had to close my eyes or I'd be a screaming wreck!
    And yes, we do things different with our grandkids, lol. (my oldest played with Barbie, so I can't comment on that one)

  2. My parents never had the worry of me getting behind the wheel. I am going on 39 and still don't drive, lol!

    Cannot wait to see what buttons you got for Tilly :)

  3. Can't wait to see how the buttons bring out the pinks in that beautiful yarn. I love that little sweater! I can't wait also to a photo of it on Tilly!

    I don't want to even contemplate the thought of Davey ever driving. So I won't. Not for awhile anyway. :) Good luck to your daughter! I know you are proud of her!

  4. My favorite commercial on tv right now is the dad giving instructions to the six year old and handing her the keys.

  5. Where does she get her dramatic tendencies from?? So hard to tell. ;) She will be fine. You may not, but I know she will. It sounds like you've done a wonderful job raising her!!

  6. picture a middle-aged woman trying to become part of the BMW leather seat that her fat arse is cemented to as her daughter RIPS across the Newburgh-Beacon bridge at 85mph, texting and alternating conversation with the same fat-arsed and cardiac-challenged mother. This was My-Life-with-Hilary when she learned to drive. Jelli - I freakin' prayed every single day. Somehow, it all worked out. My Maker has a sense of humor and a gentle heart. I still pray.
    And Tilly's sweater is angelic. Everything is going to be all right!!! But P.S. be careful what you say about the big plastic boobs, ok?

  7. Hi, pour yourself a nice drink and relax. It will all fine.

  8. I'm sure your daughter did great, but I can totally relate. My daughter will soon be getting her permit...oldest so it's the first time around for us. I take it, it doesn't get any easier???

  9. Can't wait to see what you pick out for buttons!!


A few people seem to be having problems leaving comments. I have no clue why--Blogger doesn't make it easy to figure these things out. If you are having issues, you can always email me. Thanks for commenting, or trying to...